Thursday, March 26, 2009

Casting my cares upon Him....

As I attempt to muddle through my normal routine, I am endlessly interrupted by my emotions. My darling Dania is scheduled for her adenoid-/tonsillectomy next week (Thursday, April 2nd at 8am) and I am consumed with what cannot really be called fear; it is actually grief. It makes no sense in the physical world, but I have been walking constantly through the misery of losing my daughter in surgery. It comes to me more frequently now than when it first began more than a week ago, and it is now a perpetual companion, this Grief. It perches upon my shoulders to accompany me on my chores, it waits for me upon my pillow to remind me before sleep can come, and it haunts me during quiet times (of which there are thankfully few).

Last night, when my husband returned from his workout to find me with tired, red eyes, he inquired about my condition. Yes, I had been crying. I cannot seem to escape the crying. When I explained how I had been feeling, rather than comforting me or placating me as others would try to do, he commiserated! He acknowledged having similar feelings and fears, and my knees almost gave out! HE IS NOT A WORRIER! For him to admit to being fearful almost did me in, for it gave new life to my concern for our daughter's welfare. He rationalized that we are worried because it is a scary situation with real risks and a feeling of being out of control. It makes sense, but it doesn't make the grief go away.

In fact, nothing seems to help the grief... I pray about it, offering it to the Father ["Casting all your cares upon Him; for He careth for you." 1 Peter 5:7]; I cast out evil spirits to rid myself of their influence; and yes, I beg and plead with God to spare my child ["The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him..." Lamentations 3:25].

I have not had to bury a child, THANK GOD, but I can almost feel the pain of parents who have... almost. I hope I can get through this with just the "almost."

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Obedience School!

Oliver got a lucky placement into a training class on Monday. It is a 6-week class by a local "dog whisperer." After only one class, we have a clicker and a few answers, but many more questions! Although Ben thought me cruel for restricting Oliver's access to the kitchen (we couldn't get him to stay off the counters, table, chairs, and island!) since he is not allowed upstairs (he cannot be trusted not to chew everything in sight!), he learned from the dog trainer that the best thing to do for a food aggressive dog like Oliver is to restrict their access to rooms in the house - in other words, no free roaming. Ben had to admit that I was on the right track on that one - well, now that he heard it from an expert!

During the first class, we learned how to teach Oliver to "SIT. " If you know Oliver very well, you know that we already taught him that. Umm, okay. In the meantime, I had started teaching Oliver to catch his kibble piece-by-piece in order to slow him down a bit. It was not only working, but he seemed to enjoy it! Instead of eating with his tail down and his sole focus on his food, he was up, pert, alert, and his tail wagged between bites! I stumbled onto something fun by experimenting with ways to keep him from gulping, and everyone in the family got a kick out of feeding him that way and watching him catch the bits in mid-air!! Unfortunately, the dog trainer says we have to feed Oliver in his kennel now, so we aren't tossing him his food anymore, but it was a fun trick to teach him!

Ah, well, we're only one class in, and it is my hope that after our six weeks are up, Oliver will be over his food aggression. The rest of the training is just gravy....

Sunday, March 22, 2009

A Homeschooling Blog

Okay, since I have two basic interests (homeschooling and life), I have decided to separate them! I am starting a homeschooling blog that is dedicated to my homeschooling topics and our adventures in education! You are still free to read both blogs, but this way, I will not feel like I am jumping all over the place when I rant about politics one day and praise my kindergartener for his reading skills the next!! Plus, I will be able to better network with homeschoolers and discuss curriculum choices and the like if I don't have to put them through the family and opinion stuff first. We'll see how I do writing two blogs, I suppose!

My Homeschooling blog will be at: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/abc5d

The weather is beautiful outside and we are worn out from yard work, but we are so happy to say a big "Hello!" to Spring!! Dania is anxiously awaiting my presence, so this is a short entry just to let you all know about the blog addition! Have a great week!!

Blessings,
Angie

Thursday, March 19, 2009

EuReKa!

Wow! I just read a WeE-book (a short, electronic book available for immediate download) from The Old Schoolhouse Magazine called The "Me Time Myth and Boy! was it just what the doctor (The Great Physician, that is) ordered!

I have been hosting a Really Big Pity Party around my house lately, and I have been as misguided as a little girl wandering into a Men's Restroom because she hasn't been told to look for the dress! (The only problem is, I probably have been told to look for the dress!) I have been dissatisfied with my life - every aspect of it! The house is never tidy, but I don't like to clean. The kids grumble about their schoolwork, and I get tired of rallying them. The dog is biting everybody, yet I don't feel like 'shadowing' him again today. The dishes are never done, the family needs to eat again (...whole grains, lean protein, vegetable, fruit...), the laundry is piling up (whites, darks, pastels, linens...) .... You get my drift here, right? Same thing happening at your house?

Amy Roberts hits the nail on the head with her assessment of my problem (and probably not mine alone) in The "Me Time Myth (how does she know me so well??!). She begins this WeE-book with a transparent description of her own personal struggle for balance in our alarmingly selfish society. She explains my own life, mind, heart, and desires so clearly that it is almost as if I wrote the words!! She also delineates the disquiet, confusion, and blunders that have occured in my home with my own persuance of "me time."

"Me Time" is a myth, ladies, and it is one that we promote ourselves, while it traps us in its endlessly unsatisfied grip. The problem with "me time" is that it stems from selfishness, and we all know that selfishness has no place in motherhood. No one in her right mind would choose to clean up vomit at 2 o'clock in the morning! No one in her right mind would choose to scrape dried oatmeal that could plaster ceilings off of tiny baby bowls instead of napping with baby. And certainly, no one in her right mind would choose to pour her heart and soul into a child who screams "I hate you!" for thanks. Motherhood is tough work. But it is just that: work. It is a full-time, day-and-night, no-time-off-for-good-behavior job. It is a job God gave us with the expectation that we would lean on Him for our strength and stamina. It was never God's intention for us to lean on ourselves, so tell me this: how exactly does that "me time" benefit you? For that matter, how does it benefit anyone in your house? It doesn't... it just makes us greedy for more.

If you still aren't convinced, check out her WeE-book for yourself ( The "Me Time" Myth ) It is a quick download and a super easy read, and you will never look at your "me time" the same again!

So, the next time I ask you over for coffee, don't assume that the children will be absent. Let's visit and be mommies at the same time!

Be Blessed!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Beautiful, Crazy Day!

Today, the kids and I packed up our enhanced water bottles and our coins from candy sales and headed down the street - literally. We walked down the street to the local bank and supermarket (between 1 and 2 miles away, I would estimate); we traded our $36 in coins in for dollars and we picked up our lemons from the supermarket. We decided to eat while we were there, so we purchased a few sandwiches, some fruit from the fresh salad bars, and some Cheetos (yeah, you knew we couldn't be that healthy, right?) and sat in the dining area of our new grocery store (next to the Starbuck's counter, by the way - and no, I didn't indulge!).

So, we got home, felt wonderfully tired, let the dog out to run and pee, and basically hung out in the yard. When we were ready to come inside, Oliver thought he would make a game of it. Yup, he ran away from me. Naturally, the neighbors were enjoying the patio and witnessed the entire thing (I even saw them watching me and heard them talking about my dog running from me!). The other neighbors came out and saw what was going on, and they stepped in to help. Both thought it was funny, but I can tell you, I was not amused. This dog gets the run of the yard even though he doesn't deserve it. So, he is back on leash law. He is going to have to earn the freedom to run around free in the yard. I have had enough.

You know, I can always tell when we are doing something my husband's way... it always means more work for me. And whenever I have had enough and change the rules, everything works much more smoothly. So, it is out with the old, and in with the new! Look out, Oliver, there's a new sheriff in town!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Missing My blog...

Okay, it seems like forever since I wrote on here, and I really have nothing to say and too much to say all at once! There is so much that God is showing me lately, and there is so little time to do more than just soak it up and take one step at a time.

The kids are great! We survived a few days of babysitting while my sister-in-law was in Hawaii. Yeah, that's a rub, right? :-)

We enjoyed a teaser of Spring, which prompted us to begin some seedlings...
(can you say "germination?" what a wonderful teaching opportunity it was!) we planted 2 different kinds of tomatoes, basil, early peas, and some flowers. Most of our seedling pots are on the kitchen table, but in a month or so, we will have some work to do to transplant it all outside! Yay!

We learned today that Quin is actually halfway through first grade on his reading and math. That is a really nice surprise to a laid-back homeschooling mom! Calysta is trucking along in all her subjects beautifully. And Dania is doing her absolute best writing whenever we do schoolwork! We are concentrating right now on nourishing and strengthening our bodies.

I am also in the process of making plans with a friend to start a homeschooling co-op here in Spring Hill. All of the ones we have heard about are either 15+ miles away or are somewhat pricey when you have more than one child to enroll, so I have been thinking and praying about just starting my own. We'll see where that leads....

I have also been working through a wonderful devotion that is just changing my life. Go GOD!! And thank you, Shelly, for sharing it with me!

Okay, so all my political interests aside, that is the sum total of the blogs I could have written.... Much less interesting this way, and less flowery, I'm sure, but there you have it. A tired mind that just wants to update her little circle of the world on her life.

Hope your life has been full of blessings and joy.