Did you know that grandmothers are born?
The very first grandbaby creates the grandmother. It's the natural order of things. A grandbaby needs a grandmother to spoil, adore, and dote on her/him. It's in the rules.
I became a grandmother 2 weeks ago.
We knew for some time that my grandbaby might not make it to full term, that she had a lot to overcome in order to live outside the womb, but we loved her so much and could not imagine not having her here with us!
Every day, we hoped, we prayed, we anticipated a joyous miracle.
Every week, we looked for and longed to see changes that would indicate that she was getting better. That life outside the womb would become a reality, and we would all get to hold her, snuggle her, and make a lifetime of memories with her.
However, that was not to be, and my first grandchild was delivered sleeping into this world. Our first meeting was bittersweet as we held her, aware that she had already flown to Heaven. Here in body, but absent in spirit, she was cradled, swaddled, and loved. We took turns saying our "hellos" - I sang "You Are My Sunshine" to her, and I cradled her gently in my arms as I rocked her back and forth, trying to fit a lifetime of memories into a few moments. I made note of her sweet bow mouth and button nose that resembled her mama, and I wept at the beautiful baby we would not get to keep.
And then we said our "goodbyes."
We had to leave the hospital without her, and that might possibly have been the hardest moment of my life. I wanted to hold her longer, rock her, sing to her. As her grandmother, it is my job to spoil her, but I was never given the chance.
I became a grandmother, and though my arms are empty, my heart is full - of love, loss, and the anticipation of seeing her again when I go home to be with Jesus.
Although we did not get to keep her, we couldn't love her more. Here for a moment, but loved for a lifetime.
Dance with Jesus, granddaughter.
Until we meet again.
The very first grandbaby creates the grandmother. It's the natural order of things. A grandbaby needs a grandmother to spoil, adore, and dote on her/him. It's in the rules.
I became a grandmother 2 weeks ago.
We knew for some time that my grandbaby might not make it to full term, that she had a lot to overcome in order to live outside the womb, but we loved her so much and could not imagine not having her here with us!
Every day, we hoped, we prayed, we anticipated a joyous miracle.
Every week, we looked for and longed to see changes that would indicate that she was getting better. That life outside the womb would become a reality, and we would all get to hold her, snuggle her, and make a lifetime of memories with her.
However, that was not to be, and my first grandchild was delivered sleeping into this world. Our first meeting was bittersweet as we held her, aware that she had already flown to Heaven. Here in body, but absent in spirit, she was cradled, swaddled, and loved. We took turns saying our "hellos" - I sang "You Are My Sunshine" to her, and I cradled her gently in my arms as I rocked her back and forth, trying to fit a lifetime of memories into a few moments. I made note of her sweet bow mouth and button nose that resembled her mama, and I wept at the beautiful baby we would not get to keep.
And then we said our "goodbyes."
I became a grandmother, and though my arms are empty, my heart is full - of love, loss, and the anticipation of seeing her again when I go home to be with Jesus.
Although we did not get to keep her, we couldn't love her more. Here for a moment, but loved for a lifetime.
Dance with Jesus, granddaughter.
Until we meet again.
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