There's an old hymn called "His Eye Is On The Sparrow" that popped into my head this morning. The refrain that goes "I sing because i'm happy; I sing because i'm free" was the part that i was reminded of. Not because i was singing it or humming it, not because i had heard it recently somewhere. It popped into my head because i found myself weeping at the Christmas Story once again. And i wondered to to myself, why am i crying over this every year?
And as i let that question marinade in my heart, an answer was given in the depths of my being....
i weep because i know.
i know what it is like to wait for God to send help.
And i know what it is like to doubt that He ever will.
i know what it is like to know the pure joy of finally receiving that help.
i know what it is like to face persecution.
i know what it is like to suffer trials.
And God sent His Son to us so that all of that might not be in vain! He sent us Jesus so that all of the hardships of this life don't have to steal our joy or derail us from an eternity in Heaven.
So i weep.
Because my Savior suffered. For me.
Because Mary, long ago, delivered a son she would have to watch suffer and die. For me.
Because i am a sinner who needed a Savior to stand the gap. For me.
And because i never want to take it for granted.
So. I weep. Often. And without shame. Because Jesus has my whole heart, and He has done so much for me already (before i even drew my first breath, He has suffered and died for me!).
Maybe i'll write a hymn. :)