Friday, July 31, 2009

Feminine Friday!

That's right, boys, go away! This blog entry is WOMEN ONLY!!

Today, i am finishing that lovely time that separates me from the men, and i am pondering all the issues of femalehood.... My dear friend had me in stitches last weekend about one such issue, and i realized then and there that maybe we all have the same issues, but no one ever talks about it, so we think we're all alone!

Let's share!!

I recently read a review of Always Infinity pads, so i tried them. Wow. I can honestly tell you that i do NOT have diaper rash this month! Anyone else deal with that lovely leftover of The Curse? {as if having The Curse isn't bad enough, we get to deal with the curses of babyhood and womanhood back to back! yay! reason #1 i know God is a man}

My children have had the Chicken Pox, as many of you know, and last week, prior to The Curse, i developed that hormonal breakout that i was lucky to avoid in adolescence. Well, you know those itchy things had me wondering.... I am pretty sure, though, that they were just hormone issues. {reason #2 i know God is a man}

You know how all those models we think we should look like have perfect skin, hair, and figures? They also have dainty feet. Well, yet another pleasant side effect of bearing children {you know there are a plethora!} is having your feet spread. That's right, during the final trimester, not only do you lose brain cells so you eventually have the same level of intelligence as your infant, but you also get flooded with a hormone that spreads all the joints in your body... including the ones in your feet. I had bunions prior to having babies. Now, i have bunions on my pontoon boats. Yeah, i am so amazingly lovely now! I pretty much just live in Crocs now. {reason #3 i know God is a man}

How many years have you nursed a baby? Did you know that the longer you nurse a child, the more your risk of breast cancer is reduced? It's true. It happens to be because the longer you nurse a child, the less you actually have breast tissue (yeah, they're just bags of skin now), so i'm not sure the trade-off is worth it.... Also, the Little Ladies stand at attention at all times if you nursed for any length of time. That's a lovely side effect as well. Padded bra, anyone? {reason #4 i know God is a man}

Oh, there are so many more things i could write about, but i'll leave that to YOU! The reader!! Please!! Post a comment on femininity! The best response will get a prize (yes, the prize is a sur-prize)!!

Be blessed.
God loves you. (really! it just seems like he's picking on us!)

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The WHAT Pox?

When we told her she may get the Chicken Pox, The Wee Wonder recently inquired:

"You don' wan' me to be a poowsin anymoow?"
[translation: you don't want me to be a person anymore?]

She apparently assumed that having the Chicken Pox meant you had to be a chicken.
Yes, i laughed.
Yes, she's adorable.
Yes, we're thankful for her.
No, you can't have her! :-)

Monday, July 27, 2009

Not Me Monday - Chicken Pox Version!

We did NOT watch with great amusement as the dogs tangled themselves beyond mobility during a PetPals Kids Group Play session.

That would be mean.

We did NOT play outside in our pajamas.

That would be wrong.

I did
NOT hand all of the children rollers and trays of paint.

They did NOT paint the half wall in the hall with magnetic paint, which was NOT black, but "dark gray," in case you are confused (as i was after reading the label and looking at my black wall).

We did NOT play Style Salon with the Littlest Princess's lovely hair instead of doing our workbooks.

That would make me an irresponsible parent.

I did NOT run for the camera (instead of reprimanding her) when i stumbled upon this one!

And being stuck in the house for 14 days quarantine (thanks to the Chicken Pox) is NOT driving us to climb the walls or bang our heads in frustration.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

The President's Plans for Healthcare Reform

Check out this link:
Obama's Healthcare Plan then listen to this. (i listened already; it is a safe MP3 file that will open in Window's Media Player. No virus.)

Let me just say: Wow.

Jeepers, Creepers, Scary, Scary Stuff!

If you sit back and do nothing, you will be part of the problem. This situation is careening out of control really quickly, and we need to ACT NOW to get a handle on things or Obama will have exactly what he wants with all his back-office meetings and his flashy press-conference promises.

Wake up, America - before America is a memory and Obamarica is born.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Did You Know...?

That one Varicella Vaccine given to your child at his/her one-year check-up is not enough to protect them against the Chicken Pox? We found out last Fall that "they" (the Formal "THEY" that refers to the "Powers That Be") have determined that those children over age 5, who received one vaccine at age one, now need an additional dose of the vaccine between the ages of 4 and 6 years of age. Otherwise, they can still get the Chicken Pox.

Our pediatrician informed us of this, but didn't have any available vaccines at the time, and we let it go. No follow up. No return appointment was made by The Mother of The Year for her darling children to get the remaining shot. Hence, the Chicken Pox have struck our home.

The Drama Queen, also known as the eldest child, developed lovely-colored, rather itchy pox on her trunk today. Hello, Chicken Pox!! Goodbye, freedom!!

Now, you may know that Chicken Pox are most contagious the 7 days prior to the first sore appearing, and that the incubation period (time between exposure to the virus and the outbreak) is 14-16 days. Yup, you guessed it! Two weeks ago, someone we were around developed Chicken Pox at some point within a week of us being near them. You may also know that Chicken Pox is airborne - and very contagious. Yup, you guessed it again! We are on Quarantine!! The Middle Child and the Youngest Drama Princess are at high risk for contracting Chicken Pox in the next 14 days, so we will be hermits until we are in the clear (something tells me we will all have Chicken Pox within the next 2 weeks!).

So, if you're out and about, and you wonder where we went, say a prayer for us! Cabin fever is gonna hit like a hurricane around here! Would you also pray for our neighbors who have special circumstances and are at high risk for hospitalization should they contract the Chicken Pox? We're sorry, Shiloh and Sydney!!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Not Me Monday!

I did NOT just spend 9 days in the Dark Ages (no phone, no internet) because of an Act of God (lightning strike). Not me. And the phone and internet are NOT going to be out for at least the majority of this week, too, which is NOT sending me into Technology Withdrawal.

The Littlest Lady of the house did NOT run around with no panties or shorts on today for 15 minutes or so because Mommy didn't feel like chasing her. Not my princess. And she certainly did NOT explore all the newly exposed parts until Mommy had to give in and lasso her to redress her just to keep from blushing.

Since i swore three children were my limit, i am NOT currently overrun by two additional children for the night. And it's a good thing, because we are absolutely NOT planning to babysit my just-turned-two nephew in the morning in addition to the 5 that are NOT currently in various stages of "if we're real quiet, she'll forget we're not in bed" upstairs. Not me.

My dogs' invisible fence did NOT quit working last week, which is good, because my dogs are obviously NOT smart enough to figure out how to run amok and greet random neighbors walking their dogs across the street from our house. Not our dogs. When i tied them out in the yard, they did NOT bend the metal tie out post, dig up a drain in the yard, and walk in the street. Good thing, too, because they might be homeless dogs if they did all that.

And finally, i did NOT eat so much salt this weekend in all our lovely neighborly gatherings that i surely did NOT gain 2 pounds in water weight. Whew! That's a relief.

See ya when i see ya.... enjoy the internet for me, too!
Be blessed.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

The Things We Pass On...

The Cutest Copycat (a.k.a. Dania) showed me something amazing today! Well, in and of itself, i don't suppose it is so amazing, but to me, it appeared to be quite special. Standing outside, she perfectly executed the "bounce and sway" with her baby doll (if you have ever had a baby with colic, or a particular baby even, you know what this looks like!).

Wow. What a moment! To see what she is picking up from her environment, to get a glimpse of what she is noticing by watching her... amazing. The things we pass on to our children!

It makes me wonder: what else is she seeing? What else does she learn from everyday normalcy around here? I imagine she learns about caregiving, that much is obvious if you spend 10 minutes with her! But is she also learning compassion, tenderness, love for Jesus and family, and patience? Does she pick up good table manners and eating habits? Will she understand commitment and compromise? Will she have courage, confidence, and a healthy sense of her place in the world?

I suppose the more aware i am of my every action or word, the more positive things i will pass on to my children.... and that is reason enough to do better.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Not Me Monday!

i did NOT spend 3 hours making hand-held, star-shaped, cherry and blueberry pies for the children on July 4th, and i certainly did NOT hoard a couple to keep at home for myself (that would be selfish).

Today, i did NOT watch a movie during my youngest child's nap whilst the eldest child assembled meatballs in the kitchen. {Good Cinderella!}

i did NOT skip T-Ball team pictures today in order to let the napping 2-year-old sleep. (the coach did NOT then email us rescheduling them since he was unable to attend - thank you, God!)

We did NOT start our school lessons today, July 6th, in the dead middle of summer. Since we did NOT begin our Character studies by discussing "Attentiveness," it is a good thing that the children did NOT demonstrate a dire need for such education.

My 2-year-old does NOT regularly try to eat her daily lot of calories in grapes, and grapes only, which certainly does NOT give her excessive trips to the toilet. (No, my Mother Of the Year Crown is NOT in jeopardy by allowing my child to ingest so much of one food that she gets diarrhea, so you can NOT be thinking that!)

My desk is NOT currently so covered up with miscellaneous "stuff" that i only have room for my mouse.

And i am NOT going to log off my blog to read other blogs, because that cheap entertainment would certainly NOT be a responsible way to spend an hour.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Worldly Wednesday

Is it only Wednesday? It feels like a month since the last time i posted....

Today is weird.
The world is crazy.
Satan's on the warpath.
Marriage is in the crosshairs.
Traditional families are falling apart.
What a weird, wacky, worldly Wednesday....

God tells me that i can do all things through His Son, Jesus Christ, because i can draw strength from Him. God's Word tells me that "He hath made everything beautiful in His time..." - which reminds me that today might be ugly, but in God's time, all will be made beautiful.

Praise God.