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You Can Keep Your Boxtops; I'll Keep My Spoons

Life as a suburban mother is tricky. Because, Mommy Wars.

  • You don't breastfeed? Inconceivable! Your baby needs your milk, you selfish hag!
  • You exclusively breastfeed? The horror! How dare you flash your sex objects here, you shameless hussy!
  • You homeschool? [eye roll] Overprotective much?
  • Your kids go to public school? {gasp} Aren't you afraid of all the bullying, gangs, and drugs?
  • Your children don't play sports? They're going to be fat and lazy!
  • Your children play a sport EVERY SEASON?! You are setting them up to need constant busyness in their lives! Don't you know children need to experience boredom?!?
  • Why do you let your kids play video games? They're going to grow up to be murderers!
  • You don't buy exclusively organic food? All those chemicals are going to give your children diseases!
  • Why do you even buy organic? Don't you know it's all a farce to make idiots like you spend more money?


 I mean... really. Are we trying to make ourselves nuts?
So, it comes as no surprise that I have stumbled upon yet another way I fall short of the Perfect Mother: Boxtops.
They look so innocent and cheerful, right??
Yay for education! Hooray for Boxtops!


Y'all. 
I'm already reading labels to avoid GMOs, gluten, and Red40.
I'm already breaking down my boxes and recycling them. Because, the Planet.
And now? I have to clip those stupid Boxtops off the box before I recycle it?
Oh! And if that's not bad enough, I have to keep track of them?? And send them to the school?

I mean, I'm not mocking the system. I'm not. I am passionate about the schools. I love that this is something we can do to help get more funding to the schools. Seriously. I do.

 But some days? I am drained by a shower! And brain fog? It's a thing. Like, the crumbling, unpredictable foundation of my life. Where are those boxtops again? Wait, did I turn them in? I know I clipped a bazillion of them last year... did I ever send them to the school?? Oh! Found them! Wait... Expired..? Ugh.

 As a suburban mother living with Auto-Immune Disease, I have learned to live by the Spoon Theory. (Read more about that here.) Some days, those Boxtops can be tackled and I can totally remember to tape them to the little paper the school gave me to help me keep track of them. Other days, though, it just feels like an insurmountable task. To a healthy person, this can seem weird, even appearing lazy. But anybody living with the fatigue and brain fog of Auto-Immune disease understands. And the pressure to do it all only adds to our pain. Because failure to measure up hurts.

 So, I am handing in my resignation.
I will not attempt to be the Perfect Mother.
I am not going to serve a homemade meal every single mealtime, every single day, and my linens won't get changed weekly. {gasp!} 
My children will play video games, and my floors will get dirty. {shocker}
I feel pretty confident that your opinion of me will not give me any more energy to do what I am already trying my darn'dest to do: be the best I can be with what I have to work with.

 So, you can keep your Boxtops.
I'll keep my Spoons.
We both win. :)

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