Recently, The Littlest Drama Princess brought up a touchy topic. Now that she is almost a teenager, we have a lot of our deep conversations while riding together in the car, and I find it is easier to really connect during these moments of close quarters/low distraction. She must feel the same way, because she frequently brings up things that she's been pondering, and she protects that time in the car with ferocious determination (just ask her big sister!). 😉
On this particular day, she mentioned how she wished that being gay "didn't have to be such a thing." I asked some probing questions to get to the bottom of why she was saying that, and I discovered some interesting things that are likely quite typical of kids her age in today's cultural climate.
"What's the big deal?" is essentially what she is asking.
First, she doesn't see why homosexuals and celebrities and businesses make such a big deal about "gay pride." And she also doesn't understand why so many people have so many offensive things to say about homosexuality and "gay pride." Okay, so she's paying attention to things beyond our home. Noted.
I will admit that I felt the same way in the not-so-distant past. I didn't understand why homosexuals felt the need to have a parade, a month, a movement, and why they couldn't just live their lives and let the rest go. I had my eyes and heart opened after really diving into the racism issues plaguing our country, and I applied a similar lens to the Gay Pride question she was asking, and this is what I came up with.
Generally speaking, throughout time, any people group which has been oppressed, abused, ridiculed, discriminated against, or bullied by a majority tends to fight back in the only way they can: by banding together and fighting for basic rights the majority takes for granted. When that people group begins to raise a ruckus, it's easy for the majority to take offense - after all, the majority is usually filled with 2 basic kinds of people: those who don't care and just want people to mind their business, and those who care a lot and want things to continue to go on without being challenged or changed. Both of those groups within the majority might wish the now-outspoken minority to shut up and sit down, but they are both actually somewhat responsible for the position the minority group finds itself in, either by participating in the oppression or by ignoring it (and thereby allowing it).
So, now you have a group of people that has been forced to become the squeaky wheel to get what they see as equal rights. It's easy to sit in the majority and say, "they should be happy with what they have," or "they don't have the right to that." But the truth is, many of us in the majority don't have the perspective to really deal fairly with that ideal, because it is through experiencing discrimination that we truly understand the plight of those discriminated against. Until that point, it is merely a cerebral concept we get to have an opinion about.
Okay, now, moving on.
Here we have a group of people that has been bullied, discriminated against, and oppressed, and they have decided to fight back by raising a ruckus and asking to be seen, to be heard, to be respected, to be given certain freedoms to be themselves without apology. While it might feel uncomfortable for the masses at the time, this period of stretching is moving toward growth - because shouldn't we want our fellow humans to feel safe? Forget whether or not you agree with what their lifestyle is, don't they have the right to feel safe? Free from persecution and oppression? Free from bullying behaviors and the condoning of such behaviors by the silent majority?
Additionally, as I explained to my daughter, if we (the majority) didn't oppress them, insult them, demean them, and discriminate against them in the first place, there would be no period of "overcorrection" needed. Because they wouldn't have felt the need to fight for equality if they had always been treated as equals, would they? So I suppose we have to suck it up and tolerate the ruckus. Because we are - at least in part - the reason the ruckus exists.
On this particular day, she mentioned how she wished that being gay "didn't have to be such a thing." I asked some probing questions to get to the bottom of why she was saying that, and I discovered some interesting things that are likely quite typical of kids her age in today's cultural climate.
"What's the big deal?" is essentially what she is asking.
First, she doesn't see why homosexuals and celebrities and businesses make such a big deal about "gay pride." And she also doesn't understand why so many people have so many offensive things to say about homosexuality and "gay pride." Okay, so she's paying attention to things beyond our home. Noted.
I will admit that I felt the same way in the not-so-distant past. I didn't understand why homosexuals felt the need to have a parade, a month, a movement, and why they couldn't just live their lives and let the rest go. I had my eyes and heart opened after really diving into the racism issues plaguing our country, and I applied a similar lens to the Gay Pride question she was asking, and this is what I came up with.
Generally speaking, throughout time, any people group which has been oppressed, abused, ridiculed, discriminated against, or bullied by a majority tends to fight back in the only way they can: by banding together and fighting for basic rights the majority takes for granted. When that people group begins to raise a ruckus, it's easy for the majority to take offense - after all, the majority is usually filled with 2 basic kinds of people: those who don't care and just want people to mind their business, and those who care a lot and want things to continue to go on without being challenged or changed. Both of those groups within the majority might wish the now-outspoken minority to shut up and sit down, but they are both actually somewhat responsible for the position the minority group finds itself in, either by participating in the oppression or by ignoring it (and thereby allowing it).
So, now you have a group of people that has been forced to become the squeaky wheel to get what they see as equal rights. It's easy to sit in the majority and say, "they should be happy with what they have," or "they don't have the right to that." But the truth is, many of us in the majority don't have the perspective to really deal fairly with that ideal, because it is through experiencing discrimination that we truly understand the plight of those discriminated against. Until that point, it is merely a cerebral concept we get to have an opinion about.
Okay, now, moving on.
Here we have a group of people that has been bullied, discriminated against, and oppressed, and they have decided to fight back by raising a ruckus and asking to be seen, to be heard, to be respected, to be given certain freedoms to be themselves without apology. While it might feel uncomfortable for the masses at the time, this period of stretching is moving toward growth - because shouldn't we want our fellow humans to feel safe? Forget whether or not you agree with what their lifestyle is, don't they have the right to feel safe? Free from persecution and oppression? Free from bullying behaviors and the condoning of such behaviors by the silent majority?
Additionally, as I explained to my daughter, if we (the majority) didn't oppress them, insult them, demean them, and discriminate against them in the first place, there would be no period of "overcorrection" needed. Because they wouldn't have felt the need to fight for equality if they had always been treated as equals, would they? So I suppose we have to suck it up and tolerate the ruckus. Because we are - at least in part - the reason the ruckus exists.
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