Minivan Moments

366 days ago, I felt as if the best years were behind me. I accepted that as my reality and went through the motions of life, doing the next thing, and trying to keep up with the work God gave me. I didn't really believe that I would ever be well again. It is still hard to say that out loud, but it was a quiet reality that I had come to terms with and didn't really talk about. Nobody really wants to talk about the hard stuff, ya know? Rainbows and unicorns, thank you very much! But 366 days ago, my reality was that I was grateful for the saving grace of Jesus Christ so that someday, I would be without pain. I lived for that. It got me through the hard days and kept me grounded. My hope was not of this world, but firmly rooted in the knowledge that this very broken body would not follow me into eternity. Then... 365 days ago, I was given a glimmer of a new hope. It was wrapped in a fair amount of terror, just to be honest, but it was hope nonetheless! And just a glim...

Where we live, there are no mandated driving classes or schools for teens to learn how to drive. We parents have to commit to teaching them - and sign an affidavit stating that we have given our teens a certain number of daylight and nighttime driving experience. There is a minimum six months of driver training period for this instruction, and teens then take a behind-the-wheel driving test with a trained examiner. ( This person is very brave. ) Growing up in Northern Virginia, we had classroom instruction on the Do 's and Don't 's of driving during our sophomore year of high school, complete with rule book and videos. Then we took a behind-the-wheel course with licensed instructors. After we passed both, we were permitted to take the driver's test, which we also still needed to pass in order to be granted a driver's license. Things are sure different here in Tennessee, and it explains a lot of the driving issues and traffic incidents we see regularly around her...

I'm going to be a grandma! I love babies, and toddlers, and children, and even teenagers most of the time. 😆 I've spent my whole life surrounded by children! My nickname is the Baby Whisperer! I mean, this is going to be awesome! What an exciting time for us, filled with hopes and dreams and baby things! Tiny shoes for tiny feet.  Tiny mittens for tiny hands.  Tiny diapers for tiny bottoms. Tiny clothes for tiny humans. Tiny everything ! I started thinking right away of how to rearrange my home to MAKE WAY FOR GRANDKIDS! What contraptions would I buy so that everything doesn't have to be lugged over when they visit? I began checking all the local resale sites for the big ticket items I knew we would need. I even started buying $10 Target giftcards here and there so that I would have money saved up to spoil the baby when it arrives.  👶👶👶👶👶👶👶 Then we discovered something was wrong with baby. That was a hard day. Watching my daughter dea...

Ignorance is bliss. It's a common saying, and it is often true. For me, however, I prefer to know. I don't like surprises. I prefer to know the possiblities and plan accordingly. I'm neither an optimist nor a pessimist. I just kind of hang out in the neutral zone, gathering information, running possible scenarios, playing with potentials until I feel prepared for as many possibilities as I can imagine. Some people don't get it, and I've been told to just relax, not to worry, stop stressing, etc. As a Christian, I have even been told by well-meaning fellow-believers that if I'm worrying, I'm not trusting God. As I have gotten older, though, I have come to realize something: I'm not so much stressing about things as I am accommodating what I have learned is slow processing speed . I do not like to be caught off-guard because it takes me a little more time to make sense of things than a lot of people. I have learned, therefore, to think things throug...

Childhood. Max: eighteen years. There is an expiration on childhood. A deadline . It's so short, but can feel so long while you are parenting the tough seasons . It's so easy to overlook an opportunity to read the book a third time, stack the blocks again, or appreciate the colorful painting they made.  It's so easy to just do the next thing. Make breakfast, do the laundry, pack the lunches, pay the bills, file the papers, shop for groceries, sign the schoolwork, prepare a nutritious dinner, do the dishes, put the laundry away, clean the house, tuck them in, go to bed, then wake up and do it all again. It's so easy to plan the next thing, while working on the thing in front of you, and forget that their days are passing you by. They are getting a little older. They are getting a little bigger . They are paying attention to you. You are their first hero. The first person who hangs the moon in their eyes. Believe it or not, if you take this responsibility se...

Within the medical field, things are often dealt with from a statistical point of view. Doctors rely on what is "the norm" a lot. And let's face it, the "norm" is most of what doctors probably see, so you can't really fault them for assuming your case will also be "normal." And then there's me. I was one of those babies allergic to milk who needed a prescription formula. In the '70s. I was born tongue-tied, but nobody noticed because I spoke fine... once I started talking. So, I'm still tongue-tied. I was one of those kids who got molested by a family member. I have bunions. On both feet. Since childhood. I was a "late bloomer." In all the ways. I was diagnosed with polyps in my sinus cavities at age 18 due to recurrent, severe headaches. I still have them because the small chance they could grow back after being removed is a reality I cannot ignore. I've always known I was an outlier.... 😏 As if that's not...

When my son was a preschooler, he hated to have his hair cut. He said it physically hurt him. So we let it go for awhile before we finally took him to a barber. He was a big boy for his age, and the barber was decidedly harsher than he should have been when my son flinched and squirmed. I had to reiterate to the barber more than once that my son was still only 3, even though he looked to be over 4 years of age. The barber was frustrated by my son's sensory issues, didn't approve of my parenting, and we didn't go back. When my youngest child was an infant, she didn't sleep well. I co-slept with her until she had her tonsils and adenoids removed at 2 years of age for obstructive sleep apnea, which I wouldn't have caught if I hadn't co-slept. All the while, my fellow mothers criticized me, telling me all the ways I was failing as a mother. When that same child was toddler, I was the mother ignoring a screecher in her buggy at Target, because waiting for her to ...