Friday, July 31, 2009

Feminine Friday!

That's right, boys, go away! This blog entry is WOMEN ONLY!!

Today, i am finishing that lovely time that separates me from the men, and i am pondering all the issues of femalehood.... My dear friend had me in stitches last weekend about one such issue, and i realized then and there that maybe we all have the same issues, but no one ever talks about it, so we think we're all alone!

Let's share!!

I recently read a review of Always Infinity pads, so i tried them. Wow. I can honestly tell you that i do NOT have diaper rash this month! Anyone else deal with that lovely leftover of The Curse? {as if having The Curse isn't bad enough, we get to deal with the curses of babyhood and womanhood back to back! yay! reason #1 i know God is a man}

My children have had the Chicken Pox, as many of you know, and last week, prior to The Curse, i developed that hormonal breakout that i was lucky to avoid in adolescence. Well, you know those itchy things had me wondering.... I am pretty sure, though, that they were just hormone issues. {reason #2 i know God is a man}

You know how all those models we think we should look like have perfect skin, hair, and figures? They also have dainty feet. Well, yet another pleasant side effect of bearing children {you know there are a plethora!} is having your feet spread. That's right, during the final trimester, not only do you lose brain cells so you eventually have the same level of intelligence as your infant, but you also get flooded with a hormone that spreads all the joints in your body... including the ones in your feet. I had bunions prior to having babies. Now, i have bunions on my pontoon boats. Yeah, i am so amazingly lovely now! I pretty much just live in Crocs now. {reason #3 i know God is a man}

How many years have you nursed a baby? Did you know that the longer you nurse a child, the more your risk of breast cancer is reduced? It's true. It happens to be because the longer you nurse a child, the less you actually have breast tissue (yeah, they're just bags of skin now), so i'm not sure the trade-off is worth it.... Also, the Little Ladies stand at attention at all times if you nursed for any length of time. That's a lovely side effect as well. Padded bra, anyone? {reason #4 i know God is a man}

Oh, there are so many more things i could write about, but i'll leave that to YOU! The reader!! Please!! Post a comment on femininity! The best response will get a prize (yes, the prize is a sur-prize)!!

Be blessed.
God loves you. (really! it just seems like he's picking on us!)

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