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F.E.A.R.

I struggle with fear. And I mean struggle. Fear knows how to get into my head, despite my efforts to ignore it. I try to tune it out, and it works... for a time. I attempt to rationalize my way out of it, and that, too, has some success. And as a Christian, I endeavor to turn my fear over to the Lord and let Him take care of things His way.

But fear returns.

And we grapple.
Sometimes, fear gets the upper hand.
Other times, I conquer it.
But in every instance, fear reminds me that it is always capable of - at the very least - interfering with my day and wrecking my peace.

So I struggle with fear.
Because giving into it is not an option.
It might be like a muscle: the more I exercise my strength over fear, the stronger I get, and the easier it will be to vanquish.
Maybe it's like bitterness: the more I practice turning away from the whispers of fear, the quieter the voice becomes.
Or perhaps fear is like a broken relationship: it has come into my life and left its mark, but it has taught me something valuable in the process, and so I am better for having been acquainted with it.

Sometimes, when good-intentioned people tell me to turn away from the fear because "God has not given me a spirit of fear," there's a small part of me that wants to scream, "maybe not, but He has let me experience things that are truly terrifying - hence, my fear!" Not such a godly response, I know. And I swallow it down like stinging bile because I am not my base instincts. I am better than that. And I know they are right because Scripture indeed points to the same truth. But it is in those deepest parts of my being, where memories lurk to remind me of the darkness of this life, ignoring fear seems so impossible.

That's where my faith comes in. Faith is believing in something I cannot see. Faith is trusting in God when bad things happen. Faith is knowing that whatever comes my way will be bearable with Jesus by my side, the Holy Spirit in my heart, and the Good Lord on the Throne.

So yes, I struggle with fear. Because I'm still alive, and I'm still imperfect, and I'm still bound by my fleshly body in this fallen world. But I will continue to struggle against it. Because faith is something fear cannot steal from me. Faith isn't logical, so it isn't bound by reason. Faith isn't even really debatable. It's a belief, a coming to acceptance of something bigger than myself.

Fear is a feeling.
Faith becomes an action.
Faith helps me re-frame fear.


F.E.A.R.
Faith
Even
Amidst
Reality

When reality sucks, I have another opportunity to let my faith re-frame my fear.

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