Tuesday, June 29, 2010

A Fly on the Wall

Okay, so i'll just lay it all out on the table here: we have flies.  LOTS of flies.  Someone told me it is because flies, like mosquitoes, flourish in wet conditions so all the standing water we had in May with the flooding encouraged their over-$#@%&*-abundant procreation.  But it's fine; i'm not upset by flies.

Here's a little background for you, Dear Reader: when i lived in my first real house in this lovely city in Middle Tennessee, we noticed that there were a lot of flies in July.  I was opposed to rampantly annihilating them just because we're bigger than them, so we humanely left them alone. (you can stop chuckling now) Well, as you can probably guess, it wasn't long before i was sweeping in my kitchen and noticed that those "grains of rice" were wiggling!  Ewww!  I'm not ashamed to say that ALL FLIES MUST DIE in the interest that i NEVER stumble across maggots in my home again.

So, fast forward 6 years and the fly population being so out of control that i am thinking about creating a Planned Parenthood just for insects, and you can find me on any particular summer day with fly swatter in one hand, toxic fly-killing spray in the other, with a bit of a lunatic look on my face... hunting... hunting... hunting.

Well, yesterday i decided to go to the store and get fly paper to hang about like Christmas lights in the hopes that i could capture and murder millions of flies (insert maniacal laughter).  As i proudly began to hang the first strand of sticky stuff above the kitchen counter by the back door that is the Preferred Portal of Entry for the flies, the tape stuck to the wall.  Nice.  I had to peeeeeeeeel it off.  Yuck.  I hung that blasted sticky stuff anyway, but now i can't help but wonder where the flies will stick: the tape that i can dump in the trash... or the sticky spot on the wall.  Yeah, i know exactly how that's gonna turn out. (sigh)

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