Skip to main content

Can We Talk?

Remember Joan Rivers saying, "Can we talk?" in that smoker's, accented voice? I think about that sometimes when i wonder if my kids know they can talk to me about anything. As a kid, i remember knowing when i screwed up, but never really getting positive feedback. Sadly, i seem to have adopted that parenting style myself.

I struggle with a critical nature, and that must make it tough for my kids to share their innermost struggles or feelings. I have been focusing on it more, and trying to retrain myself. My 11-year-old and i are fighting our way through this right now: i'm trying to learn patience, watch my tone, and encourage her as much as i criticize; and she's trying to find her way (as well as tolerate me). :)

Recently, my son and i have been dialoging quite a bit about his behavioral concerns. I have tried bringing up my concerns and asking him questions whenever we have time alone. Tonight, i found how much progress we have made when the other kids were sleeping and Daddy was out and he opened up the communication lines about his behavior: how it makes him feel, during and after, and why he thinks that is, as well as some ideas he has for what his problems might be. For an eight-year-old, he had some mature insights.

It was a beautiful thing, though, to hear his heart, to know he thinks about these things and wants to share them with me, and especially that he was confident that he could come to me to ask for my help. It also cemented why it is so important to have quality alone time, even for just a few minutes, with each child every day. It is far too easy to let the day get away from us and not make that effort, but nothing worth having is ever easy, right? And the beaten-down path is never really the one we want. 

So, i'm going to struggle up the less-traveled path, machete in hand, making my way through the obstacles, and building relationships with my children above all else. Outta be quite the adventure! :)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Weary of Winter

Last summer, we began a tedious journey through a difficult season in our lives: family trials coupled with unprecedented numbers of illnesses in our home have just about driven me batty.  So, after a frayed rotator cuff in my right arm (why i don't blog as often anymore), the discovery of a couple of possible learning disabilities in my kiddos (not covered by our insurance, naturally, so we're on our own), two stomach viruses (TWO!!), possible RSV that led to pneumonia (myself and the Littlest Princess), bronchitis (hubby), and an ear infection (the Man-Child)... i was deeply touched to be sent the " Stylish Blogger Award " by a friend from my reviewing days on The Old Schoolhouse Magazine's Homeschool Crew !  Wow! I needed that reminder that there is life out there and i used to be a part of it!! Thank you, Heather!! :^) Check out her awesome site at http://faithfamilyandfun.com/ I don't know how she does it, but there is always something new and inspirin

Missing My blog...

Okay, it seems like forever since I wrote on here, and I really have nothing to say and too much to say all at once! There is so much that God is showing me lately, and there is so little time to do more than just soak it up and take one step at a time. The kids are great! We survived a few days of babysitting while my sister-in-law was in Hawaii. Yeah, that's a rub, right? :-) We enjoyed a teaser of Spring, which prompted us to begin some seedlings... (can you say "germination?" what a wonderful teaching opportunity it was!) we planted 2 different kinds of tomatoes, basil, early peas, and some flowers. Most of our seedling pots are on the kitchen table, but in a month or so, we will have some work to do to transplant it all outside! Yay! We learned today that Quin is actually halfway through first grade on his reading and math. That is a really nice surprise to a laid-back homeschooling mom! Calysta is trucking along in all her subjects beautifully. And Dania is

Perimenopause: What to Expect that You are NOT Expecting

Perimenopause: What to expect that you're NOT expecting. Chapter 1: The Hot (Fire) Flash (Surge) The fan must be on. In every room. And you are now Mr. Rogers. You have a sweater for every outfit. However, you live in tanks and short-sleeved shirts underneath because nakedness is frowned upon in public places and you must disrobe in haste, frequently. The socially-encouraged bondage device, a.k.a. the bra, is more despised than ever. Fuzzy socks are your friend, because your circulation is poor and your skin is dry. You will end up with a pair in every room because you inevitably needed them off for extended periods and wandered away from them, only to need them again in another room. Winter weather is both bone-chillingly cold and a delight to overheated skin. Sometimes simultaneously. Summer is intolerable. Do not get me started on having a fever while experiencing a hot flash. 😳 And while we're mentioning it.... "Hot Flash" is not an adequate phrase for the rush o