Wednesday, April 14, 2010

When God Allows Sickness

You know, i often think we grouse about getting sick, and with good reason.  Getting sick stinks.  No one likes it.  It is, by definition, not fun.

However, i recently became ill with strep throat and a bronchial infection in the same week, and i have to tell you how much God has done through those paired illnesses!  The strep throat came on hard, and with it, a loss of my voice.  This lasted about a week.  During this time of limited vocalization, God sent me a daily devotion, a sermon, and a book that told me that sometimes i need to "just shut up."  Message received.  Loud and clear.  Since regaining my voice, i am still practicing what i have learned.  So much peace when we obey the Lord!!

The bronchial infection took me down... stairs, laundry, dishes... everything was a chore that sent me into coughing fits and breathing difficulties!  I had to rest more, do less, and take prednisone.  It is through the prednisone (and Dr. Greta!) that i discovered something about myself that God must've wanted me to know: i have ADD.  Not the ADHD we see in many male children, but the kind women usually suffer from in silence: "predominantly inattentive subcategory of ADD."  This means we lose things, forget things, start things we don't finish, and mentally stray from something we should be focusing on.  We tend to develop lots of coping strategies for these struggles throughout our lives, and since we aren't hyperactive, we get by without detection.

As a child of dysfunction and alcoholism, i am not surprised to learn this about myself. The next step is to assist my body to be the best it can be by monitoring and changing the things i can - like limiting sugar, taking Omega-3 supplements, and paying attention to my focus.  My oldest child seems to suffer alongside me, so we are learning together how to live with the hangups that come along with ADD.

I am not interested in a formal diagnosis, having come from a course of study in psychology in college.  I need only understand my limitations with this issue and develop strategies for improving.  God wanted me to know, but not for excuses or medication... He wanted to help me understand myself the way He does.  He is just that loving.  He knows how often i feel inadequate, unfocused, stupid, lazy, and disorganized.  He hears me crying out for help.

We can't always understand why God allows sickness, but we can try to rest in comfort that He has a plan.

Now, off to brew some caffeinated coffee!!

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